Tell Us, Mike

Mike Pence, Mr Vice President, please tell us, what is God’s plan? Why, Mike, did He create us in His image, and then set us down on this little blue ball situated at the back end of an insignificant galaxy surrounded by unimaginable, howlingly empty space? What was God thinking when a fat, pig-eyed monster calmly shot infants in the head: in His own house? What was the great plan there, Mike? And what lies behind your seemingly permanent tight smile and carefully maintained Republican haircut? Mike? Mike? Earth to Mike?

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